Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Of all the Hookers in all the Towns in all the World…

New York’s finest, Eliot Spitzer, got caught. And it’s all a terrible matter of bad luck. Every day, hundreds, perhaps thousands, of guys arrange for a little companionship and nobody ever knows about it. Eliot just had the misfortune of arranging for his afternoon delight with a prostitution establishment under surveillance by the Feds. So, I think it’s rather bad form for the Republicans in New York to be calling for Spitzer’s scalp. Come on, fellas, what’s so bad about a few hours with a beautiful lady?

Of course, I can’t say that the Governor showed any degree of smarts in this matter. We mortal men (and you gals, too) have to understand that we can’t apply normal moral standards to guys like Eliot. Men who crave power also seem to have a need for more lovin’ than the average wife can provide. So, I don’t get too upset when Mr. Spitzer finds the need to indulge. Of course, I’m a little surprised that Eliot had to pay for it. There must be lots of good looking woman in Albany who would be glad to relieve the Governor’s itch for free. But, I guess Mr. Spitzer felt that a professional woman tells no tales. So, Eliot (commonly known as Client 9) arranged for a four hour session with Kristen.

If you’re the Governor of New York, where would you want to spend some time with Kristen? Albany? Manhattan? No. Client 9, bless his little heart, decided on enjoying Kristen in our nation’s capital. Now, having lived right next door to the District for more than thirty five years, I’ve read that there are some awfully foxy looking professional women in that town. If Client 9 was afraid of being recognized in Albany or New York, he could have arranged to spend time with one of DC’s local girls. But not our Eliot. Apparently, Kristen was so special that he decided to take her on an afternoon excursion to his favorite DC “Motel Seven.” Being an attorney, and an ex-prosecutor to boot, Eliot must have known that the Feds frown on guys crossing state boundaries to sow their oats and have enacted this little thing called the Mann Act. It didn’t matter to Client 9. He wanted only Kristen and he wanted her in Washington. After all, who would ever know? I told you, dear reader; it was just terrible, terrible luck.

So let’s talk about Kristen. She must be something else. For a guy to risk his family, his job, maybe even his freedom for a few hours with her testifies to her beauty and abilities. And, she didn’t come cheap. Client 9 paid more for his afternoon delight with Miss Kristen than Richard Gere paid for a whole week with Julia Roberts in “Pretty Woman”, so Kristen must be really special.

Don’t worry, friend, in a few weeks we’ll forget about this. It will be yesterday’s news. Who talks about Michael Vic any more?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Why is this even a crime?

In America today, a "marriage" is only five to seven years. It is an arrangement where the American man is fleeced of half or more of his worldly possessions in exchange for regular access to, what most would admit is fairly mediocre sex. What we have today is not really marriage, but a short term lease; a very expensive short term lease.

Spitzer's thousand dollar hooker, by contrast is a much wiser investment, if you don't count the loss of the governorship and political future. All Spitzer was doing was outsourcing sex, just like many businesses now outsource core functions. In fact, just like the big CEOs, he probably told his wife that by outsourcing sex, he was freeing-up more opportunities for her at home.