For Roger

My friend Roger who lives in Christiansburg, which is several hundred feet above Roanoke, asked me to write about three things: 1- the Redskins; 2- the live balls being used at the World Series; and 3; His Mayorship Doug Wilder.

1- Roger seems to forget that I am the James River, not the Potomac River, maven. I could write tons of stuff about “Your Richmond Braves,” but what can I say about the Skins? They suck? That would be unkind. So I will put it this way, there is nothing wrong with this team that cannot be fixed by turning back the clock and bringing in the Hogs, Joey Theisman and Riggo.

2- At my age, what do I know about live balls? (Hey it’s okay to tell age jokes about yourself.) I mean, really, if it’s okay for pitchers to use dark stuff, why not use live balls? The fans want to see lots of scoring; let them have homeruns.

3- Surprisingly, I have very little to say about King Doug these days. In times past I could have burned up cyberspace with the heat of my invective. But, hey, Doug actually endorsed a Democrat yesterday. Of course if he hadn’t been so vindictive last year and had endorsed Creigh Deeds, we might not now have an attorney general who embarrasses himself by saying that the second and third sentences of the marriage amendment will raise no legal issues.

How was that, Roger?