Monday, May 12, 2008

Pussycat, Pussycat, Where Have You Been?

Trusted reader, if you know the next line to the above nursery rhyme you know where the maveness and me were for the last ten days. I know that I haven’t written anything during those days and I apologize. I was in a state of radio silence.

Although ostensibly we were on a pleasure jaunt, my trip actually involved a secret mission to Her Majesty Queen Liz. Considering how badly our presidential election process was going this year, I felt that it was time to face the facts—our experiment in self government was just not working. So, I traveled carrying a petition to the Crown stating that despite all that “when in the course of human events” stuff, we were not making a go of it and we wanted her to take us back as colonies.

After entering Buckingham Palace through an underground secret entrance I was ushered into the Queen’s private dining room. Apparently she was just back from Scotland because she was eating haggis and eggs. She asked me to join her, but I couldn’t get past the thought of eating disgusting parts of a dead sheep. After reading my petition and consulting with Prince Philip, she gave me her answer—

We love you Americans very much but you can’t come back. We have enough political problems of our own. Besides which, we have converted your bedroom into an office and there is no place for you to sleep.

So, with our diplomatic mission at a standstill, the missus and I toured London and then went up to Edinburgh to see how that haggis stuff (and single malt whiskey) is made. After a brief drive to St. Andrews to see the place where they started hitting the ball with a club, it was off to the airport and our flight back to Virginia.

Despite the now public failure of our secret mission, it is great to be back in Richmond, USA. Anything meaningful happen while we were gone?

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