Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Maven Out of Race

In a move that shook Virginia politics to its very core, the James River Maven, AKA Bert Berlin, has withdrawn his name from consideration as the Virginia running mate for presumptive Democratic nominee Barak Obama. In a secret letter, the maven informed Obama that “under no circumstances” would he accept the Donkey Party’s VP nomination.

The maven’s withdrawal makes it increasingly difficult for Senator Obama to implement his Virginia strategy. Prior to the maven, former governor Mark Warner and Senator Jim Webb had withdrawn from the VP race. Sources for Governor Tim Kaine have indicated that he expects and intends to complete his term, making it unlikely that he would accept the Virginia nomination either. This leaves the field of qualified Virginians willing to serve as Obama’s running mate virtually empty.

On the bright side, presumptive Republican nominee John McCain is still looking for a Virginia running mate. Local speculation indicates that Representative Eric Cantor is high on McCain’s “Virginia Veep” list. Elephant Party regulars, concerned with Cantor’s lack of name recognition, are working behind the scenes to convince former governor and senator George Allen to consider accepting the nomination. If Allen cannot be swayed, Virginia Republicans may pressure former governor Jim Gilmore to accept the nomination. Gilmore, who is already his party’s nominee in this year’s race for the United States Senate, apparently is up to the task. At a recent party Gilmore was overheard saying, “I’m no more qualified to be Vice President than I am to be senator. Why not run for both?”

Or course, it just might be that neither presumptive nominee will be able to implement his Virginia Vice President strategy. That would leave Virginians to face the terrible truth that the Commonwealth is no longer the breeding ground for vice presidents. Rather than being the key battleground state in this fall’s election, Virginia, with its thirteen electoral votes, might be relegated in importance to the middle tier of states, ahead of Massachusetts and behind Georgia. Oh what a blow to the Old Dominion ego!

2 comments:

Bookstore Piet said...

Damn. What am I supposed to do now with all the 'Barry & Bert' bumper stickers I had printed up?....

Anonymous said...

Bookstore,

They,ll have to go with all the "Johnson-Kennedy" campaign buttons that the Bobby Kennedy supporters made to try to coerce LBJ into making Bobby his running mate in 1964.

Might be worth something on Ebay some day.